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Bedtime prayer (for women)
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
He's not afraid to admit when he's wrong.
One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait 6 weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.
Pulls out my chair & opens my door, massages my back & begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Knows just what to say when I ask "How fat is my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin'
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And would never compare me with my best girlfriend.
Thank You in advance and now I'll just wait,
For I know You will send him before it's too late
Amen
A man walked along a California beach deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish."
Suddenly the sky clouded and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so anyone can drive over anytime they want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify Me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "Do you want lights on that bridge?"
